@mariokeyparty: It's kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn't
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rickygervais: The people who shout the loudest about their all powerful God protecting them & delivering them from any evil, also own a gun, just in case.
@shutupmikeginn: "Oh, you're left handed?" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show
@iGreenMonk: I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
@Adam14: When people say "Let's not get off on the wrong foot here", I reply "Please don't get off on either of my feet".