@LePetitOiseau_L: It's like my cat doesn't even appreciate it when I take the time to rake his litter box like a Zen Garden.
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@DaHess1: Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: The kids opened the "private" drawer in my nightstand. Me: THE drawer? Wife: Yeah. Great. There go our Oreos.
@JayCee302: A cute girl with brilliance is the best thing in the world that doesn't have cheese on it Wait couldn't I just put the che Mother of god
@ehchinoo: *looking under hood of car* "Well there's your problem" *removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*