@LoneWolfStories: It's like my fridge sends texts inviting all my friends over the moment I fill it up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Try2StopME: A baby was born laughing really hard with it's fists closed! The confused Doctor unfolded it's tiny fingers, & found a birth control pill.
@sageboggs: "You're getting an MFA in English? Wasn't your Bachelor's useless enough for you?" -second degree burn
@ericsshadow: If she calls me lazy again, I swear I'll get off this couch and go take a nap in bed.
@rolldiggity: "I don't know where this rumor started, but Company and I are just good friends." -Misery