@LoneWolfStories: It's like my fridge sends texts inviting all my friends over the moment I fill it up.
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@gobmentcheese: If watching 80's music videos has taught me anything, it's that you don't need talent if you have a fog machine.
@CornOnTheGoblin: Control this is astronaut Douglas sending transmission from the Milky Way..we have no signs of chocolate..or caramel..I'd like to come home
@KalvinMacleod: [date] HER: my last boyfriend was such a misogynist ME: (trying to impress her) I hate massages