@candace_9871: It's like my Mom used to say, always keep a positive pregnancy test around in case you need to ruin a man's life.
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@NurseMurderer: This earthquake was the first time that I've ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
@Burger_Time_: ppl always judge adam & eve for listening to the talking serpent but u never hear a single person say anything about dr doolittle
@TheLeslieMommy: Old lady across from me in ER waiting room just asked me, "So are you sick?" No, I'm just here for the free CNN.
@MizzSlaughter: Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait.