@Vodkantots: It's like my nana always used to say: If you really hate him that much, just marry him and then get fat.
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@TheToddWilliams: [high seas] FIRST MATE: The men be ready to attack PIRATE: Arr! FIRST MATE: Oh sorry...the men "are" ready to attack
@Ygrene: Son: [excited] dad, I just signed up for a triathlon Dad: [sighing, doesn’t look up from newspaper] well let me know when you sign up for a winathlon
@Spotzwoj: The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.