@GuyThe_Guy: It's like my teeth got in trouble in school & aren't allowed to sit together.
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@flashember: ME: I'm so happy, I could treat a horse! WIFE: *sighs* That's not a saying [spoon-feeding ice cream to horse] Don't listen to her Mr Butters
@Donnie_Fairburn: [On a treadmill next to a girl at the gym] Me: *Out of breath* Feeling the burn? Her: Yup Me: Me too! Her: How? Your machine isn't even on