@GuyThe_Guy: It's like my teeth got in trouble in school & aren't allowed to sit together.
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@JediGigi: I always carry a jar gripper with me in case I'm ever stranded on a deserted island with a jar of salsa. I also always carry a jar of salsa.
@jctwritesstuff: *walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*
@ArinLeeMorris: In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors.
@djdarrellripley: Look, I know you really miss her. But, you know what? Sometimes things aren't meant to be. One time I really wanted this waffle....