@Rollinintheseat: It's like nobody at this restaurant appreciates my dramatic reading of the menu.
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@fro_vo: MESSENGER: sire, a peasant named humpty dumpty fell off a wall KING: send all my horses and men to put him back together QUEEN: should we not just send a doctor KING: no send all the horses and men ADVISOR: my liege, the castle will be defenseless KING: all of them i said
@bobvulfov: [audition for a vampire tv show] ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos ME: exactly
@BlairLoudly: Your password must include 5 minutes of interpretive dance, 15 excerpts from contemporary fiction and 1 word made up by Shakespeare.
@jjhartinger: War & Peace wasn't written to be downloaded on your iPad, Carol. Tolstoy wrote it for you to carry around and impress people with.