@Dawn_M_: It's like the girl sitting in front of me on this bus doesn't want me to braid her hair.
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@CakeThrottle: If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up.
@better_off_dad: Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!
@adamhess1: Boss: and you're sure you know the names of all the vegetables? Sign maker on his 1st day: ...yes
@MarioInAZ: Had this weird dream last night that I was Superman, but I was only able to fly really low to the ground because I'm chubby.