@Dawn_M_: It's like the girl sitting in front of me on this bus doesn't want me to braid her hair.
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@TheAlexNevil: You know, one day auto correct will completely collapse, and that day will be gloria’s!!
@stealingyergirl: [first day as a psychic] Boss: You're fired. Me: Man, I did not see that coming. Boss: And now you know why.
@JasonLastname: Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.