@LuvPug: It's like the people who drive Smart cars don't even realize that other cars are an option.
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@JohnLyonTweets: No, autocorrect, I'm not "pooping" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it.
@Kalarlis: holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?
@Rollinintheseat: Friend: "This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend." Me: "This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."