@Sarcasticsapien: It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane.
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@BrianStack153: Just felt compelled to apologize again for my joke last year about Don Henley having a pet chicken named Hen Donley.
@HumanPog: *gets to heaven* omg grandpa!! grandpa: *charging at me* you wore a jean jacket to my funeral you piece of shit
@prufrockluvsong: Things Stephen King books taught me to be afraid of: -dogs -cars -storm drains -hotels -the street -writers -little girls -the prom