@withanewname: It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change
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@SarcasticAlly12: Me to my toddler: Listen up, small human. Here are some farm animal sounds you should learn to prepare you to climb the corporate ladder.
@MissBamantha: A Haiku For My Salad: I do not like you You will never be grilled cheese You make my mouth sad
@QwertyJones3: What's that? "It's my pet rock." Why does it look sad? DWAYNE JOHNSON: I'm hungry.