@ramenfuneral: its macaroni and cheese not macaroni and steve
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@captainkalvis: [my dog runs up to me, bone in his mouth] you better stop bringing these back, we’ve got like 200 more to dispose of
@SteveSuckington: If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly.
@AimeeHelene1: Them: Ma'am, we're going to have to ask you leave... Me: *doing the limbo under the police tape at a crime scene*
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye goes to law school just so he can yell THE DEFENSE WESTS YOUR HONOR and moonwalk out of the courtroom. The defendant is executed.