@causticbob: It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's weird how President Obama appointed George Clooney Secretary Of Handsome. #DNC
@GrrrRach: I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets.
@OutOfLeftField_: I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."