@Dawn_M_: It's nice that lions don't mind looking like 80's rock stars.
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@jazmasta: By DAY he's just a regular accountant. But at NIGHT he becomes a trash ravaging raccoon... "Raccountant".. Coming this fall on Fox
@Floatersfinest: If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men
@david8hughes: [over megaphone] "Police! We have you astounded!" "Jim, it's 'surrounded'." "No, I know but look at his face."
@13spencer: A San Francisco man is running seven marathons in seven days on seven continents; he’s expected to be seven times as annoying about it.