@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mikecanrant: So carrying a "wet floor" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard.
@kwirkyKerri: You don't need to threaten me into submission. Just hold some cheesecake under my nose.
@goolicker: There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: This creepy guy at work calls me "hun" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan.