@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.
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@419BillE: Uh oh I planned two dates today thinking one of them would cancel and now I have to come up with a lie and quick
@SondraDeeMe: 3 years ago I trained 6 days a week & ran a 5K. Now I run my mouth 6 days a week telling the pizza delivery guy how I ran a 5K 3 years ago.
@Home_Halfway: WINNIE THE POOH: There's a rumbly in my tumbly ME: Use regular words you half naked glutton
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm not sure who's more drunk, me or the guy wrapped in Christmas lights standing in the mirror.