@robdelaney: It's normal to have conflicting feelings on Columbus Day. True, he discovered the Greatest Nation on Earth, but he also supported Obamacare.
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@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: Why is the zoo calling us about a missing coyote? ME: [bleeding profusely] So... not a dog
@Donna_McCoy: Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand.
@TheRealRHB: Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace
@JediGigi: People whose TL is only quotes from famous people---You do realize you're not a desk calendar, right?