@MadGamer79: It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.
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@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "Your resume says you're good at jumping to conclusions?" Me: "When can I start?"
@DamienFahey: I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
@OkieGirl405: My favorite people are the ones that like to pass judgement on others because they have obviously lead a perfect life