@PencilWalrus: "IT'S NOT A RACE, YOU GUYS!" i yell from 6th place
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@Brianhopecomedy: And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in "Bath Time".
@Mr_Kapowski: New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One
@WilliamAder: It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.