@jergarl: It's not a real twitter addiction until you look up from your phone and you've missed your exit by 37 states.
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@ElleOhHell: "We're a completely paperless office." Wow, that's really cool. [Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom] Well this sucks.
@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
@lunasgarden_: I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway.