@GrowlyGrego: It's not an octopus. It's a water spider. And yes, so called "marine biologist", if you live in the ocean you swallow 8 of them every year.
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@BuckyIsotope: When you gaze into the abyss sometimes the abyss pats you gently on the hand and says she's just not that into you.
@XLCadillac: [job interview] “Why should I hire you?” “Because I have pictures of you with a goat?”
@danabrit: I'm writing code, not making diamonds. Continuing to apply more and more pressure will not produce a better outcome.
@drinksmcgee: Knuckle Tats (I) (H)(A)(V)(E) (W)(A)(Y) (T)(O)(O) (M)(A)(N)(Y) (F)(I)(N)(G)(E)(R)(S)