@GrowlyGrego: It's not an octopus. It's a water spider. And yes, so called "marine biologist", if you live in the ocean you swallow 8 of them every year.
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@michaelajeffery: ME: Why does my stomach hurt? WebMD: Because of that Ouija board you messed with in the fourth grade, probably.
@vladchoc: Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth.
@punmagnate: "Name?" queries the Starbucks barista. The almighty feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl only sighs.
@allthenachos: We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again.