@KizerBillhelm: It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.
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@li4mst3w4rt: alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
@gorrdano: McDonalds employees get so cranky when you perform the entire dance routine to Britney Spear's "I'm a slave for you" before ordering.
@squirrel74wkgn: [helping son with math] Me: Problem one...(reading)...ok...(reads #2)...(reads #3)...(keeps reading)...ask your teacher for help tomorrow