@KizerBillhelm: It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.
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@bombsydoll: Problem: I hate peeing alone, sleeping, & nobody talks to me about random nonsense Solution: kids
@HousewifeOfHell: Two certain individuals today proclaimed me the worst mom ever because I took them to the dentist. I FORCED THEM TO HAVE TEETH. Like, OMG.
@juliussharpe: My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.