@jkrambles: It's not God I dislike, He's cool. it's certain members of his fanclub that rub me the wrong way.
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@PatSandora: NYCer: OMG you’re in the city?! Visitor: Yes! NYCer: I’d love to see you! Let me know if you end up on my exact block. I will not travel.
@djdarrellripley: Him: Hey, you really think that doing all those shots are going to make you forget that you got fired? Me: I got fired?
@IamEveryDayPpl: Cop: *searching my car* "WHERE IS IT? I KNOW IT'S HERE!" Me: *trying to swallow a Nickelback cd* "IT'S NOT MINE, I SWEAR!"