@Ristolable: It's not illegal to convince your child that she is the only person who can see the sun and must never talk about it.
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@crylenol: *pops out of casket at funeral* ok but when I actually die you guys better have nicer things to say
@Roxtalled: Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.