@iRowlf: It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination.
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@bossy_bootz: Red light : Stop Yellow light : Proceed w/ caution Green light : Wait till everyone hates you then go
@wheatnik: My bucket list is just the words "afford things" written in orange crayon on a paper towel.
@wesjohnson8: "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."
@PhilJamesson: WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another.