@JasonLastname: It's not illegal to tell a ghost story when a cop shines a flashlight in your face
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@carlyken: I think about wizards and dragons way more than a wizard of 3 small dragons should. Dammit I meant mother of 3 small dragons. Dammit I meant
@PaperWash: I was bit by a radio active spider so now I wear a rubber suit, swing around like a monkey and use karate, you know, like a spider.
@Parentpains: Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic.
@Brampersandon_: GUY (whose car died): can u help me? I need a jump ME (pulling a trampoline out of my trunk): im always prepared for emergencies like this