@Trudacious: It's not like I live in a broken down car on the side of a road. I'm not that rich.
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@TheCiscoKidder: 5 year old: Where does wind come from, daddy? Me: It comes from people asking too many questions.
@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"
@TheUnfitFather: My family wanted a Disney experience so I charged them $150 to stand in a line for three hours before taking our daughter to the bathroom.