@bouncingblonde: Its not pretty being easy.
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@murrman5: [in car with wife] "did you take $20 from my purse?" *sips $3 coffee* no *gets rear ended and $17 worth of sour candy falls out of glovebox*
@JUSTLisandra: The first person to ever call me a psycho was Lorraine from high school. Height 5'4, coffin size 84 by 28 by 23.
@Home_Halfway: ME: Is this Babies R Us CASHIER: Yes ME: No babies work here C: I know ME: It should be called Babies Were US C: ... ME: Get me your manager
@briancthayer: [house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!