@CheryeDavis: It's not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
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@electrolemon: "It's Adam and Eve, not Adamant Eve!" Despite his clever wordplay, Eve stands her ground. " I'm not doing butt stuff, Adam."
@slimmy_shady: In Korean restaurant w/my son & Korean waitress says to him"Hi, how are you"? "Sorry I don't speak Chinese" Great. I've raised a douche!
@Sarcasticsapien: If you're going to insult the Amish, do it to their face. You kinda have to. They're never gonna see it online.