@UncleDuke1969: It's not really 'fast food' if fat people can catch it.
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@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.
@rikpayne: People who say "Money doesn't grow on trees" don't understand the paper making process.
@FrazzleMyGimp: WIFE: I want a divorce. ME: Is it because of my small wrists? WIFE: Yes. ME: [taking off bracelet] Then take your ring back.