@thedayofthedot: It's not really murder if you're already dead to me.
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@Nonnie_Linda: Sitting here eating blueberries wondering if my brain is improving Doubt it..... took too long to spell doubt
@chrisanna4real: Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a while...so your wallet doesn't think you're a loser.
@fro_vo: *Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on
@weinerdog4life: Me: Waiter, there's a duck in my soup Waiter: That's a pond, you're at a park, I'm just here with my family, will you put some pants on?