@thedayofthedot: It's not really murder if you're already dead to me.
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@ninjadinosaur1: Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it's obvious who's having a better day.
@MartaEffing: My self esteem flared up this morning. So I put on my bikini and checked my bank account. Ahhh... That's more like it.
@bjfrancypants: "ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SEX WITH MINERS!" is the exact wrong way to proclaim your sexual proclivity toward those who excavate coal.