@thedayofthedot: It's not really murder if you're already dead to me.
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@behindyourback: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I did those things online"
@WilliamAder: Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they'd never get caught.
@TheToddWilliams: [cat adoption agency] Counselor: ...*slowly pushes my application off the counter* Me: What the hell? Counselor: You're not ready