@Smug_Lemur: "It's not what it looks like," I say to the bunny noticing my slippers.
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@Thynebear: [buying condoms] Do you have anything bigger? Like if someone wanted to pretend to be a slippery ghost for a day, or something like that.
@BubblesnBooze: I just found a human tooth and a pair of underwear in my purse. I might be a serial killer or I might be a mom, you'll never know.
@jergarl: My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch.
@Jennifergr8: Someone just asked my son what other type of fish do you like then? nnHe replied....chicken.nnnThank god he is good looking.