@MrMildSauce: It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@just1fool: Autocorrect changed, "Felt good right?" to "Hours of delight" so I sent it because it's not my lie at this point.
@Jamie1947: A video montage of all the times my foot, still wet from the shower, has clung to my underwear as I pull them on, and I've lost my balance.
@jergarl: 8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight? Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom.