@MrMildSauce: It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
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@weinerdog4life: Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
@bourgeoisalien: No, please continue to talk loudly on the phone, smoke & spit next to my table. No problem! I'm just going to follow you home and kill you.
@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.