@kelkulus: "It's not you, it's me." - Identical twins arguing over a photo.
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@SufficientCharm: I put my pants on like everyone else.... After sex. Ha just kidding. I don't have sex, or pants.
@abhorrent_wife: Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting.
@dubstep4dads: i cant believe ashton kutcher made the apple computer and iphones. thank you ashton