@samalmightysam: "It's not you, it's me." -Twins looking at some family photos
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@nuttywhippet: There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along.
@BrettDruck: What's it like to work in customer service/retail? Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist.
@drinksmcgee: The date had been magic. We moved to her couch & kissed. That’s when horror struck as my eyes locked on the Duck Dynasty DVDs on her shelf.