@samalmightysam: "It's not you, it's me." -Twins looking at some family photos
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@Soren_Ltd: Sex with me is like a ferris wheel: slower than you hoped, full of clunky stops and a carny watches to make sure you don't get off.
@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
@delusionaliam: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it'll eat for weeks!