@stephandyer: "It's not you, it's meat" - vegan break up
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@Book_Krazy: "Whoa nice car" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] "What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"
@dumbbeezie: No I don't want to watch the video on your phone. My phone doesn't like me looking at other phones.
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.
@HpHubert: Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?