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@stephandyer: "It's not you, it's meat" - vegan break up
@IntoxicaTweeted: Misunderstandings happen when one person is clearly stupid.
@sofarrsogud: ME: Thanks for all you did man. It's because of people like you, we have our freedom.
HIM: Again, I'm a veterinarian.
@Schmoodles: Down a flight of stairs.
That's how I roll. :(
@Rollmaninoz: Cop: *with my license* says here you're supposed to wear glasses
Me: I have contacts
Cop: I don't care who you know, put your glasses on
@LisaMcAlister1: Instead of saying, "YOLO", try saying, "Carpe Diem". You won't sound like a douche andddd, you won't sound like a douche.