@byrdie_num_num: It's now politically correct to award kids trophies for last place. On a related note, 'trophy wife' has become rather ambiguous.
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@sixthformpoet: If another day goes by without a Matthew, Mark, Luke and John forming a boyband called New Testament, I'm going to give up on everything.
@Dr_powpow: I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them.
@Barknado69: [Sex Shop] Worker: can I help you? Me: Yes can I get um.. *fumbles with piece of paper* one sex please