@xLiserx: It's October: For everyone's safety, keep your blonde haired children away from all corn mazes. Do not let them congregate.
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@philmann: Don't be fooled - orca whales are just penguins set to widescreen 16:9 instead of the usual 4:3.
@sofarrsogud: Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year, not being a turkey is probably the main one.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: [texting] Him: What’re you doing Me: Watching a chicken strip H: Why don’t you just eat it M: BECAUSE SHE’S BUSY DANCING, TODD
@LeviathanPride: Made a friend today. Well, I knocked on my window when a guy walked past my house. I'll name him Terry.