@jwoodham: It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do.
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@MikeZakarian: Social media allows me to review all my mistakes in chronological order...with pictures.
@gerryhallcomedy: If anyone on the street asks for directions - give directions to YOUR house. Then run home, put on music and wait for your new best friend!
@MrEd_EVH: Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining because of the cold. I'm whining because I have to wear a entire load of laundry to stay warm