@mdob11: 'It's ok, I'm from the internet', I whisper from under your bed as you call the police.
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@callie_cakes: PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
@shutupmikeginn: So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed.
@TEXASVETERAN: What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved. Sea what I did there? I'm shore you did. Laugh, you son of a beach!