@Donna_McCoy: It's okay, baby. I cry when people try to change me too.
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@joshgondelman: I'd have more sympathy for Sony's alleged loss of $200 million if that weren't the cost of like three large popcorns at any movie theater.
@JustDontBugMe: [on the phone with cable company] Me: how do I cancel my cable? Rep: first you go to our website and look for our FAQ section- *30 minutes later* Rep: -and then you have to steal the Declaration of Independence to get to the map on the back. The map will lead you to a clue-
@abbycohenwl: *releases helium-filled heart balloon* Me: You're free now Balloon: Ima choke a bird