@thatcarlygirl: "It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."
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@JohnLyonTweets: Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked.
@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses
@therealeatwood: [I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do