@thatcarlygirl: "It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Fun Prank: When someone wakes from a coma, have everyone dressed in medieval clothes and welcome them back from "The Sleeping Disease"
@Parker_Simpson: The guy who coined the phrase,"I'm not gettin any younger." The guy he said it to then coined the phrase,"No shit, Sherlock."
@HatfieldAnne: Did I tell you about the time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose? No? One time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose.