@thatcarlygirl: "It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."
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@bombsydoll: *Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *hits wall outlet *has amazing time being electrocuted
@PaulyPeligroso: This pumpkin spice toilet paper seems unnecessary, but I'll taste it nonetheless.
@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: Want to go out? Padmé: Ew. You’re 9. Anakin: Padmé: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same.
@Dawn_M_: Do you remember that creepy girl who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!