@NikiWithIssues: It's okay when Pac Man runs all over the place eating pills and claiming ghosts are after him but when I do it I'm "crazy."
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@GrantTanaka: Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked "Dad, does God love bettas?" & I said "Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."
@onion_an: [police raid at balloon store] Cop on radio:"We can hear gunfire is everyone ok, over" Hedgehog cop inside:"Its not gunfire, over"
@DothTheDoth: I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.