@KyleMcDowell86: It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine
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@david8hughes: God: write this down Moses [grabs tablet]: shoot God: thou shalt have no- Moses: slow down, pal. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'
@RandomAntics: gonna have me one of them sexy closed-casket funerals, leave somethin to the imagination
@iwearaonesie: [dinner] son *sigh* What a day wife *kicks me under the table to get me to respond* me *slides my beer over to him* wife *kicks me harder*
@upsidedowntrash: [God creating lizards] God: How about a snake with arms and legs? Snake: [trys to throw its arms up in disgust, but just remains very still]