@TeflonPawn: It's only a restroom if you fall asleep in the stall.
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@flashember: Think you know guilt? *takes long drag on cigarette* I'm the wildebeest who killed Mufasa. *exhales* I hear Simba's screams every night.
@therealeatwood: ME: Um, I specifically requested Mary. BLOODY CARLA: Listen, do you want your eyes clawed out or not?
@BobTheSuit: Adult me must concede that a major contributor to global warming was kid me leaving the front door open and heating the whole goddam world.
@KevinFarzad: If you love someone let them go. If they come back they probly forgot their keys or something & yikes that's gonna be an awkward 30 seconds.