@ScrambledMceggs: It's only an overdose if you're dead.
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@Kendragarden: I call my nephews "Dude" and "Homie" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)
@dulcetry: One time I saw a biker's funeral procession and realized even dead people are cooler than me.
@krishna_van: Woke up at 6 & went for a jog before hitting the gym for an hour. Now I'm back home, making up a bunch of absolute bullshit about my morning
@El_nacho_Nigre: My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.