@ScrambledMceggs: It's only an overdose if you're dead.
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@daemonic3: PRIEST: Do you take Florence to be your wife? THE MACHINE: I do PRIEST: Does anyone have anything- RAGE: [from the back] I'M AGAINST THIS
@UncleDuke1969: My wife went to dinner with her cousin, and is supposed to bring me home some dessert. She should have been home an hour ago, and I’m getting a little worried about my cake.
@daplusk: I want to meet someone who enjoys long walks along the beach, so I have enough time to sit at home alone and tweet