@doctorveritas: "It's possible to touch birds!" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.
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@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.
@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine, I would go back to the day we first let my daughter watch SpongeBob SquarePants and just destroy our TV
@NourHadidi: "Sleep is for the dead". Yeah cos you look so alive when you're yawning. #stupidsayings