@YourAnMoron: It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard.
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@QwertyJones3: Kid: Daddy can I give some of my candy to that duck? Me: No, ducks only eat things they find in nature, like bread.
@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.
@djdarrellripley: My online therapist says you can't live your life in fear....He also sells shampoo.