@YourAnMoron: It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard.
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@iAmJuddy: My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed.
@Audenary: DAD: Think an earthquake's coming. MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know. DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more.
@KyleMcDowell86: Funeral Request: Spread my ashes on a windy day so I get in everybody's eyes and mouth lol I don't even like you guys