@Just_Lee_: It's pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
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@weinerdog4life: Don't ever ask a burrito if you should eat it, it will always say no, because burritos are really smart.
@XplodingUnicorn: I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain.