@Just_Lee_: It's pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] "What do you do for a living?" "Kidnapper." "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] "I'm a pig rapper. I make farmyard hiphop."
@BriarSlyMadness: If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans... ...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you.
@captainkalvis: Priest: I will now dip the child in the Holy Water Me (just watched a hot dog eating contest): That makes em go down your throat faster