@iRowlf: It's pretty rude how they'll kick you out of the hospital just for using a defibrillator to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
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@Vodkantots: People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection.
@TheCatWhisprer: [trying to stop my toddler's tantrum in a restaurant] *harsh whisper* If you don't cut it out right now then there's nothing else I can do
@lecalabara: Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
@le_buns: *reheats leftovers from yesterday's dinner date* *takes bite* *waiter from last night knocks on window* "how's everything tasting folks"