@Procaffinator: Its probably time to clean the microwave when you heat coffee and it comes out smelling like a burrito.
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@SonOfCha: Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space.
@TwinSurvivalist: If you made her sweat, sweat till she can't sweat no more, perhaps you should have taken a water break. Dehydration is dangerous.
@simoncholland: Me: *buying a pair of socks and a pack of gum* Kohl's cashier: You saved $439 today.