@Procaffinator: Its probably time to clean the microwave when you heat coffee and it comes out smelling like a burrito.
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@Dpressedspartan: (Me,after returning from exam) Mom: (Greeting) How was your paper? Me: I wrote what I knew, I copied what I didn't knew.
@daemonic3: What is the deal with airplane food? Seriously, I'm trying to feed this thing and I don't know what airplanes eat.
@OrvllShrednbchr: 10 years ago, as a joke, I told everyone I was giving up sex for Lent. Haven't gotten laid since. Well played, God.