@Procaffinator: Its probably time to clean the microwave when you heat coffee and it comes out smelling like a burrito.
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@carlyken: So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?
@TheMichaelRock: You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad.
@HomeProbably: When someone asks for advice about dumping their partner, they don't mean in the woods. I know that now.